I'm excited to have my friend, Helen here today. Helen attends our weekly writer's group at the Sinclairville Free Library. Helen is a yet to be published children's book author, I say 'yet to be published' because it will be! Her stories are amazing! I can't wait to say, "I knew her when..." This is her top 10 list of excuses that made me laugh out loud. I hope you love it as much as I did.
10
Reasons Why I Couldn’t (Can’t, Don’t, Didn’t) Write
- I was traumatized by watching our
new neighbors dance- our two neighbors, each weighing at least 350 lb,
were dancing naked in the rain.
- My brother asked me to watch his
pet while he went on vacation. I didn’t hear the “s” on pets. As a pet rescuer,
he currently has 2 beavers, 3 raccoons, 1 tiger, 7 flamingos, a potbelly
pig, and grandma who showed up unexpectantly.
- I had no tea in the house. You
need a good cup of sipping tea to calm and focus the savage thoughts.
- I was participating in a clinical
study conducted by the
- I ran out of acetone… I needed to
move the bookcase out of my son’s room and into the attic. While moving
it, my cup of pencils and pens crashed to the floor, cracking the cup. I
glued the crack with superglue and some dribbled on my fingers. I didn’t
have acetone. I can’t write with stuck-up fingers.
- I had to buy a blue horse, but
books were blocking my way…
Two-yr.
old granddaughter Meghan wants a blue horse for Christmas and the best place to
look is either Clayton’s toy store or Puddle Duck, but I didn’t have gas in my
car and I had no idea how to get to either toy store, so I had to wait for
Niles to take me, except he was burning a bag of old papers and receipts saved
since 1983 that was taking up too much space in the attic and we no longer needed to keep. The attic
needed to be turned back into bedroom space for family descending upon us for
Thanksgiving. But Niles
- I couldn’t find the bag of
potting soil. Before Niles could repair the leak in the shed’s roof, he
had to move things so he’d have space to reach the rafters and I wasn’t
sure where the potting soil was moved to and I needed to repot our
indoor-outdoor plants that recently migrated back to the basement, but
they couldn’t stay in the basement because 5 grandkids need the space for
their Thanksgiving sleepover and everyone knows large plants, small
children, and a sleepover are not a good combination. Although, Ali does
call the plants her jungle and loves hiding amongst them. Still, the
plants needed to be repotted and relocated out of the basement, but not to
the dining room- no room there- so perhaps the attic- near the bookshelf,
but first I needed to find the potting soil. I couldn’t write.
- I was overcome with a deep sense
of loss and sadness. Amanda came to claim and carry off my collection of classroom
wall decorations. She was exuberantly ecstatic over Winnie-the Pooh
characters, Mother Goose, Mercer Mayer’s Little Critters, Dalmatians, and
more, while I was fought back symptoms of empty-nestitis. My 3 ft. paper creation
of a smiling Pooh opened a floodgate of emotions and I recalled 4-yr olds hiding
behind trees, pretending they were searching 100-acre wood for Pooh Bear’s
honey pots. I wondered if the trees
I made were still in the attic. I hadn’t seen them when I hauled
everything to the living room. Sadly, it all had to go. I needed space. A
bed, bookshelf, and plants were destined to the attic. Family’s coming. For
years, Winnie-the-Pooh had found a home on my walls and family in our
world of pretend and imagination. Realities change. Yet, I didn’t want to
loose this one. I couldn’t write.
- Squirrels and superglue.
Squirrels moved into the attic, chewed through the wires- no power for my
computer. I couldn’t write longhand as all my pencils and pens were stuck
in the super glued cup.
- I couldn’t write, it was raining,
time for dancing.
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